We've all heard the adage: "Once a cheater, always a cheater." If your partner has been unfaithful, you're likely getting all sorts of advice from well-meaning friends and family.Much of that advice may involve ending your relationship. Yet it's possible -- and perhaps even beneficial -- to stay in a...
A useful way to think about the idea of sexual response is to break it into two concepts: arousal and arousability.Arousability refers to your trait levels of SIS and SES (dual control model). Our best understanding at this point is that sexual arousability works along the lines of intelligence, height...
A couple of weeks ago, the Pink Therapy group in the UK made news by proclaiming 'GSD' - Gender and Sexual Diversities - as the new umbrella term for a community that seems to add letters by the season. Seriously, I've seen: LGBTQQIAA- lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex,...
For many young adults, college is a rite of passage, filled with experiences ranging from parties to all-night cram sessions to that first serious relationship.Yet romance may be getting short shrift these days, replaced instead with quick "hookups" devoid of any real emotion. That's the argument of a provocative new book,...
It's a moment that not all parents have experienced, but that many of us fear: You're enjoying a passionate encounter with your partner, oblivious to the pitter-patter of little feet until it's too late. Have you just scarred your kid for life? Certainly not -- but, depending on your child's...
How does your sex life measure up? That's the central premise of "The Normal Bar," a new book by Chrisanna Northrup and sociologists Pepper Schwartz and James Witte. Based on the responses of an Internet survey of some 70,000 people, "The Normal Bar" endeavors to ease people's concerns about their...
We have nerve endings whose job it is to recognize stimuli that are potentially dangerous ("nociceptors"). These pain receptions limit the intensity of stimulation you can give your partner because they have a "threshold" of pain tolerance. But you can raise the threshold and therefore increase the intensity of stimulation...
A quick science tidbit before the weekend begins: a question someone asked at the end of my quick 10 question survey about the best non-fiction sex books you've read (feel free to participate if you haven't). The person asked, "Do most men really have a stronger sex drive than...
In a browse around the internet, I ran into this: Feminists with FSD: the almighty glass of wine. The author - a self-identified feminist who also identifies as having a female sexual dysfunction - is frustrated by sex educators and therapists talking about wine as an alternative to medication.It's true that...
"My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon." - From 'Baby Got Back' by Sir Mix-A-Lot "She's got me spendin'. Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me." - From 'My Humps' by the Black Eyed Peas Evolutionary psychologists believe that men and women have...
Researchers have known for years that parenthood has some predictable effects on heterosexual couples. Specifically, relationship satisfaction typically decreases1 and sexual activity usually drops off markedly once kids enter the picture.2 Given the significant increase in gay couples raising children through surrogacy and adoption in recent years, researchers have begun...
People around the world have long believed that certain foods are aphrodisiacs. Oysters, bananas, figs, cucumbers...the list goes on and on. But can eating any of these foods really increase sexual desire and behavior? Perhaps. But before you go booking next Friday's date at that expensive and exclusive raw bar,...
By now most people have heard about John Gottman's research comparing gay and straight couples, publicized a few years back. Gottman, a respected psychologist and researcher, did a study of gay relationships that revealed that for the most part same and mixed sex couples had similar similar levels of relationship...
First, let me say a little more about decoupling sex and love. Because, imho, the source of many of our sexual difficulties is our sloppy sentimentality about sex and love. The reason we personalize our partner's sexual behavior so much is that we are viewing sexuality through lenses distorted by...
I hate these kinds of articles- my eyes glaze over when I see them- and so this is the first time I've written one. But I think my advice might be slightly different from what you've have heard before. For nearly thirty years, my two main professional specialties have been...
It's Valentine's Day - the day of pink and red explosions of chocolates, roses, and teddy bears everywhere you look. To some, this is an exciting time; a holiday looked forward to with anticipation. To others, this is a time of annoyance and bitterness toward a holiday perceived as...
I've always kept track of all of the questions that readers, students, and acquaintances ask me related to sexuality and relationships. This morning, I was reading through some of the questions, and noticed a theme of orgasm throughout. Most of the orgasm-related questions came from folks with female partners wanting...
Arnold. Ashton. Anthony. When it comes to the ABCs of infidelity, one thing is certain: It's only a matter of days - maybe minutes - before another extramarital scandal rocks the headlines. With brand new stories of celebrity and political infidelity hitting the newsstands every week, one can't help but...
Struggling with a cancer diagnosis? Cancer -- and its treatment -- can be overwhelming, on both a physical and an emotional level. And while this may not be on your mind at first, it can even affect your sex life. How can you make your intimate life a priority again...
Perhaps you're reading this because your partner has been diagnosed with cancer. For that, we salute you. It's admirable that you're taking the time to educate yourself about your partner's diagnosis, and about the physical and emotional fallout they will inevitably experience. But what's even more important is asking yourself:...
One of the most common excuses people use when turning down sex from their partner? "Sorry, honey. I'm feeling too tired to exert myself with some strenuous bumping and grinding." We know. So trite. But it's tough to prioritize sex if you've had a long day at work, a tough...